Pages

Friday, 27 April 2012

Tell Me Something You Do Like: MJ Hibbett

Time for a BRAND NEW feature on Keep Pop Loud! 

In order to make sure that KPL isn't just review after review we thought it'd be nice to find more about the artists behind the pop. So, inspired by the MJ Hibbett song 'Tell Me Something You Do Like' (from the seminal We Validate) we thought we'd get some of our favourite pop-related people to tell us about something that they think is great. Absolutely anything at all is game...

And who better to write the inaugural feature that MJ Hibbett himself?

Hibbett has been very busy this year, by giving a live performance of Moon Horse Vs The Mars Men of Jupiter away via Bandcamp and before that releasing the FANTASTIC album Dinosaur Planet. You can listen to the latter of these below and while you are, you can read about... The Key Shaped Bottle Opener.

-----------------

THE KEY SHAPED BOTTLE OPENER

Several years I was stomping up the hill towards Brighton Station, heading for the last train home after a particularly jolly gig, and I thought "Sod it! I'm treating myself to a beer!"

I popped into the little supermarket nearby and got myself a couple of bottles of fairly posh bottled lager, zoomed through the station, hopped on the train and settled back for a special treat. It had been an awfully good evening during which I had, I thought, rocked fairly comprehensively, and what better way to celebrate than continuing the good times on the chugging train back to London?

It was only as we pulled out of the station that I realised my error: I'd got bottled lager, but had no way of opening it. Now, I know there are all kinds of different ways that people will recommend for opening bottles painlessly, but none of them seemed to work for me, and after fifteen minutes of twisting, knocking and dragging at the bottle top I was faced with the horrific prospect of gradually sobering up with two delicious bottles of impregnable lager glaring at me.

"This shall not stand!" I declared, and dug out my keys to have one finally go at jabbing, stabbing, and eventually wrenching the bottle top off, nearly knackering my keys in the process. "Human ingenuity wins again!" I halloed, as lager frothed all over my trousers. I cared little for the dampness, for I had BEER, and all was well!

It was only when I finally got home, still soggy, that I realised that in the process of opening the bottles I had ripped all the skin off my knuckles. All that cack handed keymanship against increasingly jagged bottle tops had reduced my fists to bloodied rags. Strangely I hadn't noticed at the time, but for the next couple of days they hurt like buggery.

Moaning about my injuries online one of my friends pointed me in the direction of this little beauty - a bottle opener shaped like a key! It was exactly what I needed - having an actual bottle opener attached to your key ring always seems like a sign of rampant alcoholism, as if you needed to get into bottles of beer precisely as much (and as often) as you needed to open your own front door, but having it look like a key was... well, I suppose it was exactly the same, but in disguise, which is probably worse.

I ordered one immediately and have never ever regretted it. Not only does it do its job perfectly, but it also leads me into delightful new social interactions. For instance, if I'm at a party it's the perfect excuse to stand near the beer counter and chat to anyone who comes over trying to open a bottle! It also means that I can choose proper Bottle Beer rather than relying on cans of nasty stuff when out and about, and if anyone catches me nicking their rider backstage at a gig the situation can easily be resolved simply by me showing off my delightful gadget. It never fails!

Also, if you're a bit of a show-off, you can always pretend it's a normal key and you're just dead good at opening bottles. I would, however, frown on such dishonesty.

I've most felt the joy of my little bottle opener when I've been without it. Last year I played a gig in a Church Hall and, as I'd already booked a hotel for the evening, thought I'd treat myself to some proper Posh Beers. Imagine my distress, then, when I went for my bottle opener and suddenly realised that I'd left it, along with my keys and Oyster Card, back in my hotel room! Once more desperate  for the longed for BOOZE I ended up sorely abusing the venue's kitchen facilities - being a Church Hall there was no bottle opener, so I ended up whacking the bottles on worktops and coating the floor (and myself) with ALE, once more ripping skin off my knuckles as I did so.

Next morning I headed for the station, slightly damp still and with bloodied hands, and was struck not just with a determination never to go out without my bottle opener again, but with a sense of complete idiocy. Here, of all places, I should have remembered to take it, for the gig had been in Brighton once again!

----------------- 

Keep Pop Loud

1 comment:

CarsmileSteve said...

I love my key bottle opener so much, favourite christmas present ever!